Clive Rosfield

(—from here!)

[Joshua sees a side to his brother that so few others do. He sees the man when he is most stripped bare. He sees the man who is, undoubtedly, twisted and turbulent by the way life has gripped a hold on him. With his younger brother, Clive oft feels like a different man entirely. Perhaps to be expected when matters of the heart are so invested. He might even say the feelings there burn with the same intensity as the Phoenix.

It isn't hard to imagine where Joshua's thoughts might take him when Clive merely makes mention of older days. He finds himself there frequently enough when the opportunity allows for it, careful not to drown as much nowadays as once he has. They ought to take every moment they have, for who knows how many more they will get.

Clive has a definitive understanding on how finite things can truly be and how easily they can slip through his fingers.]

Honeybush. [It's simple, but the logic behind it is very Joshua. Clive can't help smiling to himself. Easily enough, whatever makes his brother happy, makes him happy as well.] I can agree to that. I will make for certain that we have more than enough to suit our needs.

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[Joshua can always count on Clive to go above and beyond what is necessary just to ensure their mutual well-being. He could remind him that 'just enough' sometimes is more than enough. That to treat a task as minor, at least on the veneer, as acquiring tea as one that must be completed to Clive's utmost ability wherein nothing less is acceptable, is a mindset that will cause harm in the long run--much as his insistence to carry not just his own burdens, but the burdens of all those around him.]

[Joshua could remind him of that.]

[He should.]

[But... he understands. He understands that need to do more, to push oneself harder, to ensure that one's regret will never be "I did not do enough".]

[Or perhaps all of his thoughts are highly focused projection onto a simple statement from his brother.]

[Regardless, while he managed to scold Clive for doing too much a few messages ago, he refrains now. This is something special. Something they can share. Something that Joshua will not rebuff with chiding, not when the gesture is one he knows comes from a place of love only his brother can possess.]

I will do what I can to help find a source.

However, I must needs ask for one promise from you.

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[They could go together. Clive would like that, though the turning of the world, how it shapes and evolves through the actions that Clive has taken directly, he concerns more that he would only put Joshua in the line of danger. One cannot act as a particularly good shield if they are responsible for the harm of the one they are shielding.

But to treat Joshua as though he were incapable would be as unfair. He's certainly proven himself more than enough by this point. He isn't the same young boy.]

For you, anything.

[Heavy words accompanied by equally heavy sentiment. Even after a moment's consideration, Clive finds his resolve strengthened. He can't imagine there being anything he wouldn't do.]

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Promise me that no matter how much tea we manage to procure, we save enough to share a drink after our mission is over.

[He knows full well that nobody can guarantee that either or both of them will be around to have some tea together, but he can't help but want to provide that glimmer of hope--and that motivation for Clive, at least, to pull through. If anyone deserves to rest easy in a happy life, it's him.]

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[A promise seems so easy to make, though Clive occasionally wonders if he can keep such weighted things. What if he were to somehow fail to live up to one? What if he were to disappoint another? Hadn't he already thought he failed his own flesh and blood?

Perhaps sharing cups of tea will be an easier thing than to be the shield. Not that he's ever backed down from a challenge. He doesn't intend to start now.]

I can do that. It's the least I could do. Tea, when this is all over. We'll deserve something to take the edge off.

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Then it is decided. We celebrate victory together with tea over swill.

[The smile spreading across Joshua's face, lost in thoughts of a happy future with his brother and the comrades they hold dear, holds as he entertains the imagery.]

[If his brother promises it, then he truly believes it possible.]

I trust you, Clive. We can do it.

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[Does he truly believe they will be victorious? He'd like to think so. They've come too far now to give up. There can be no surrender. Clive has to see every last bit of this through, regardless of where it may take him. He has his own uncertainties, locked beneath the calm and sometimes quieter composure he holds together just barely by the grace of all who have helped him get to this point.

Things are so different now. He is so different now. And in some ways, so very much the same.]

Truer words couldn't be spoken. We'll see it done. It's a road that I can't travel without you. I thought once, it was meant to be that way. But I think we both need to see it.

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I agree. No matter what happens, we will see it through together.

[Even if Joshua knows he can’t guarantee that their mutual trust will ultimately bear success, he’s missed Clive far too much over the years to so much as consider leaving his brother’s side. Of course, there’s the higher priority of mankind’s overall fate, their role in it, and how it looks like it is only through the strength of their bond and the bonds they’ve formed with their friends and comrades that they can even hope to yank it all back from the brink of destruction. Joshua fully understands that familial sentiment falls to the wayside when it comes to the benefit of protecting Valisthea’s future.]

[However, for as long as he draws breath, he will fight to remain at Clive’s side.]

But first, shall we procure some water for you? To rid yourself of the taste of regret?

[…just as he’ll fight to take care of his brother in every way possible.]

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[If he could have it his way, he'd almost prefer not letting Joshua get involved at all. That feels like a luxury he won't be able to afford. When he was younger, that would have been easier. Now, his brother has become wilful. A blessing and a curse to protect someone who is stalwart in just such a way.

But perhaps Clive's desire to guard him is a little more selfish. A desire to feel needed. Self-punishment? Restricting himself to something he feels he's only barely deserving of? He could get lost in that.]

Concerned I'm unable to get water for myself now? I won't have you needlessly worrying over me.

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Must needs it be worry that drives me to help my brother?

[Stubborn as Joshua has grown to be, he's had a fine role model to guide him. Part of what made, makes, him idolize Clive so much is how ready the elder Rosfield is to stand by his beliefs and dig in his heels when the time comes for it.]

[Joshua finds it difficult to be as brazen as Clive. Ever since he was a child, he lacked that special kind of mettle, but he's apt enough with words to express his tenacity another way.]

It's only water. Allow me this chance to take care of you, as you have always done for me.

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(—from here!)

[Ah. He knows that look. For just a breath, he takes the opportunity to assess his own person. He can smile and laugh in these darker days, though he wonders how true they are. No matter how much ease he thinks he may feel from time to time, it oft feels replaced by the uneasiness of reality.

Maybe he should learn to live a little.]

My sense is not as sharp as yours, yet still I see the use in it. I wouldn't make for a very good leader otherwise. As long as others are counting on me, as long as you are counting on me, I have to hold onto it. Two sharp blades are better than one.

[Figuratively and literal.]

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[ Maybe a little. For all the ways that Joshua has shaped himself into a weapon, a tool for a purpose, he has not given up on the little joys - and especially on making people's live a little lighter, a little happier.

And who would he want that more for than Clive?

He smiles again as they keep walking Gav home. ]

I am counting on you. And will stay at our side in turn. We ever were stronger together.

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[We ever were stronger together.

No truer words said.]

Wise words. I'd expect nothing less of you. If Father could hear you now. [Joshua's wisdom in the face of Clive's frequently reckless behaviour.] Any other requests whilst I scour living lands for honeybush? Perhaps I have you come along with Torgal and me.

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[ Joshua does his best.

His breath still catches at the mention of their father. ] He would be proud of both of us, I think. Not that he was anything but, with you. [ It's said with pride, not sullenness - he never felt slighted by their father in any way. But Clive always deserved all the praise given him, so it was good and right that Father had given it.

He breathes out slowly. Then grins across to Clive, over the bowed down blond head. ] I would love to join you, though I hope you do not intend to seek it out tonight. You can do with a good night's sleep no less than Gav.

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[He hears that often nowadays. That he is so reminiscent of their father. He would like to think the man would be proud of who his son has become today, even if it is the result of such adversity. But Joshua, too, has evolved and changed in the face of time. Clive can't help but be exceptionally proud of his brother and all he's achieved.

All he will achieve.]

You caught me. I suppose I would be of the mind to set out right away. [If only because he has become terribly bad at simply stopping and taking some moments to breathe.] Would be kinder to let you get some rest instead of pressing you overmuch.

[Not because Joshua can't take it. Clive knows he can. If anything, it is merely the idea that he can't seem to admit to himself that sometimes he needs a beat of respite as well.]

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... Clive...

[ Joshua breathes out slowly, but then manages a small smile. ]

So long as you get rest, also, I will take this kindness.

[ No, seriously, big brother. You keep running everywhere, at least catch a few winks. ]

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[He offers his brother a somewhat weak, but sincere smile. Joshua was onto him. He's come to expect this. Despite that, Joshua is unendingly patient.]

I will make the attempt. I can offer no promises. Even should I not find rest, I will find something to do around here.

[Better than him getting into trouble somewhere in one of the other regions.]

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[ Joshua's eyes narrow ... thoughtfully. ]

I have.. an idea, if you would indulge me. After we settle Gav.

[ It is already time for rest, anyway. ]

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Is there a world that would exist where I would not indulge you?

[He doubts it. He can't turn Joshua down ever. Probably. After what he's done. After the role they have played in one another's lives. Clive is a strong man, capable of fighting powerful beings, and yet against his brother, he feels so defenceless.]

Best we get Gav to a safe place. Tarja's will do, I think. She may want to ensure he's in good form.

[And likely give him a piece of her mind. Tarja always says what's she's thinking, after all.]

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And I shall do my best to not use that selfishly.

[ Soft smile but also his face heating a little, because while he has known this, hearing it out loud warms his heart and it's been so, so long since they've had a chance to talk, let alone indulge each other. (And Joshua will do the same for his brother. Always.) ]

That fate we shall give him to, then. And then, to rest.

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[Better Gav than the both of them, Clive thinks in a mire of other thoughts whilst en route to towing their third to Tarja's infirmary. He's not as wordy as perhaps he thinks he ought to be. Not because he doesn't have so many things he wishes to say to his blood, but perhaps because there are so many things to say that he doesn't necessarily know where to start.

An apology, which he's already aired, feels so hollow and empty, especially in the face of the world that they face. It is such a thing then, that being a shield, he should somehow feel so powerless. He can slay any number of Akashic or other creatures in the world, and yet the flame of courage inside of him sometimes withers in the face of Joshua for any number of complex reasons.]

In Gav's case, it will likely be the reverse. Rest first. When he comes to, we'll see if he even remembers anything from tonight.

[Perhaps he won't. Perhaps that's a kindness in this world that they all share in together.]

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